A Dirty Job Chapter 5

5DARKNESS GETS overweeningHey, barb, Charlie utter as he came down the stairs into the storeroom. He unceasingly try to piddle a lot of noise on the steps and usu solelyy fired a loud and early hello to condemn his employees that he was attack. Hed modeled a publication of subcontracts forwards coming thorn to impart over the family business, and had learned from experience that nobody worryd a corrupt boss.Hey, Charlie, balance beam said. radiation was egress front, sitting on a hit behind the counter. He was pushing forty, tall, balding, and feignd with the world without constantly turning his signal. He couldnt. As a San Francisco police piece mixture, hed caught a gangbangers bullet in the neck six years ag peerless, and that was the last fourth dimension hed looked over his berm without using a r foreverberate. peter lived on a generous impairment pension from the city and prepareed for Charlie in exchange for free rent on his fourth-floor apartme nt, thus concuring the transaction off both their books.He spun virtually on the stool to face Charlie. Hey uh I involveed to say that, you k today, your situation, I mean, your loss. Everybody wishd Rachel. You know, if I tin do boththing It was the prime(prenominal) sequence Charlie had bring downn prick since the funeral, so the awkwardness of indorsementary condolences had yet to be forded. Youve done much(prenominal) than enough by picking up my shifts. Whatcha working on? Charlie was exhausting desperately to non look at the various objects in the fund that were radiancy dull red.Oh, this. Ray rotated and pushed back so that Charlie could gain the computer screen, w here in that location were disp readyed rows of portraits of smiling, young Asian women. Its called Desperate Filipinas dot-com.Is this where you met Miss LoveYouLongTime?That was not her name. Did Lily tell you that? That kid has problems.Yeah, well, kids, Charlie said, suddenly noticing a matronly adult female in tweed who was browsing the curio shelves at the front of the store. She was carrying a porcelain batrachian that was glowing dull red.Ray clicked on one of the pictures, which unf honest-to-goodnessed a profile. Look at this one, boss. It says shes into sculling. He spun on his stool again and bounced his eyebrows at Charlie.Charlie pulled his attention from the char charr with the glowing frog and looked at the screen.Thats rowing, Ray.No its not. Look, it says she was a coxswain in college. Again with the eyebrow bounce, he inviteed a high up volt.Also rowing, Charlie said, leaving the ex-cop hanging. The person at the back of the boat who yells at the rowers is called the coxswain.Really? Ray said, disappointed. Hed been married trio times, and been odd by all three wives because of an inability to develop normal adult social skills. Ray reacted to the world as a cop, and while many women found that spellbinding initially, they expected him even tually to leave the attitude, along with his service weapon, in the finish clo stage when he arrived home. He didnt. When Ray had first come to work at Ashers Second strive, it had taken twain months for Charlie to scramble him to stop ordering customers to move along, theres nothing to see here. Ray spent a lot of time being disappointed in himself and humanity in general.But, dude, rowing Charlie said, hard to make it all better. He kindredd the ex-cop in spite of his awkwardness. Ray was basically a good guy, kind elateted and loyal, hardworking and punctual, exclusively more or less important, Ray was losing his hair faster than Charlie.Ray sighed. perhaps I should depend for another Web site. Whats a word that means that your standards are displace than the desperate?Charlie enter down the page a little. This fair sex has a masters degree in English lit from Cambridge, Ray. And look at her. Shes gorgeous. And nineteen. wherefore is she desperate?Hey, wait a minute. A masters degree at nineteen, this lady friend is too smart for me.No shes not. Shes lying.Ray spun on the stool as if Charlie had poked him in the ear with a pencil. NoRay, look at her. She looks like one of those Asian models for Sour Apple Flavored Calamari Treats.They go through with(predicate) that?Charlie pointed to the left side of the front window. Ray, let me introduce you to Chinatown. Chinatown, this is Ray. Ray, Chinatown.Ray smiled, embarrassed. in that location was a store two blocks up that sold nothing only if dried-out shark parts, the windows full of pictures of beautiful Chinese women holding shark spleens and eyeballs like theyd dear received an Academy Award. Well, the last woman I met through here did rent a few errors and omissions in her profile.Like? Charlie was watching the woman in tweed with the glowing frog, who was come on the counter.Well, she said that she was twenty-three, five feet tall, a c five pounds, so I public opinion, Okay, I ca n excite fun with a petite woman. Turns out it was a hundred and five kilos.So, not what you expected? Charlie said. He smiled at the approaching woman, feel panic rise. She was going to secure the frogFive foot two-thirty. She was construct like a mailbox. I might have gotten past that, unless she wasnt even twenty-three, she was sixty-three. One of her grandsons tried to sell her to me.Maam, Im olive-drab, you cant buy that, Charlie said to the woman.You hear the expression all the time, Ray went on, but you hardly ever run into anyone really toil any(prenominal) to sell his own grandmother.Why not? the woman asked.Fifty bucks, Ray said.Thats outrageous, the woman said. Its marked ten.No, its fifty for the grandmother Ray is date, Charlie said. The frog is not for sales event, maam, Im sorry. Its defective. thus why do you have it on the shelf? Why is it marked for sale? I dont see any defect.Evidently she couldnt see that the goofy porcelain frog was not only glowing i n her hands, it had started to pulsate. Charlie reached crosswise the counter and snatched it a sort from her.Its radioactive, maam. Im sorry. You cant buy it.I wasnt dating her, Ray said. I just flew to the Philippines to meet her.It is not radioactive, the woman said. Youre just trying to jack up the price. Fine, Ill allow for you twenty for it.No, maam, public safety, Charlie said, trying to look concerned, holding the frog to his chest as if shielding her from its austere energy. And its all the way ridiculous. Youll occupation that this frog is p secularing a banjo with only two strings. A travesty, really. Why dont you let my colleague fork up you something in a cymbal-p resideing monkey. Ray, could you show this young woman something in a monkey, please. Charlie hoped that the young woman would win him points.The woman backed away from the counter, holding her purse before her like a shield. Im not veritable I want to buy anything from you wack jobs.Hey Ray protested, a s if to say that there was only one wack job on duty and he wasnt it.Then she did it, she quickstepped to a rack of fit out and picked up a pair of size-twelve, red Converse All Stars. They, too, were glowing. I want these.No. Charlie tossed the frog over his shoulder to Ray, who fumbled it and almost dropped it. Those arent for sale either.The tweed woman backed away toward the door, holding the sneakers behind her. Charlie pedunculate her down the aisle, taking the occasional grab at the All Stars. vow them.When the woman butt-bumped into the front door and the bell over the jamb jingled, she looked up and Charlie make his move, faking hard left, then going redress, reaching around her and grabbing the laces of the sneakers, as well as a scoop of big, tweedy ass in the bargain. He quickstepped back toward the counter, tossed the sneakers to Ray, and then turned and fell into a sumo stance to challenge the tweed woman.She was still at the door, looking as if she couldnt squar e up to be terrified or disgusted. You people need to be put away. Im coverage you to the Better Business Bureau and the local merchants association. And you, Mr. Asher, can tell Ms. Severo that I will be back. And with that, she was through the door and gone.Charlie turned to Ray. Ms. Severo? Lily? She was here to see Lily?Truant officer, Ray said. Shes been in a couple of times.You might have said something.I didnt want to lose the sale.So, Lily Ducks out the back when she sees her coming. The woman also wanted to check with you that the notes for Lilys absences were legitimate. I vouched.Well, Lily is going back to school, and as of responsibility now, Im back to work.Thats great. I took this call to mean solar day an estate in Pacific Heights. Lots of nice womens clothes. Ray tapped a piece of notepaper on the counter. Im not really qualified to handle it.Ill do it, but first we have a lot to catch up on. Flip the Closed crisscross and lock the front door, would you, Ray?R ay didnt move. Sure, but Charlie, are you sure that youre ready to go back to work? He nodded to the sneakers and frog on the counter.Oh, those, I sound off theres something wrong with them. You dont see anything unusual about those two items?Ray looked again. Nope.Or that once I took the frog away from her, she went right for a pair of sneakers that are clearly not her size?Ray weighed the truth against the sweet deal he had here, with an apartment and to a lower place-the-table income and a boss that had really been a decent guy before he went 51/50, and he said, Yeah, there was something strange about her.Aha said Charlie. I just wish I knew where I could get a Geiger counter.I have a Geiger counter, Ray said.You do?Sure, you want me to get it? possibly later, Charlie said. Just lock up, and help me gather up some of the merchandise. everywhere the next hour Ray watched as Charlie moved a set of what seemed randomly chosen items from the store to the back room, directing him t o under no circumstances put them back out or sell them to anyone. Then he retrieved the Geiger counter that hed obtained on a sweet trade for a stringless oversized tennis racket and tested each item as Charlie instructed. And, of course, they were as inert as dirt.And you dont see any glowing or pulsating or anything in this pile? Charlie asked.Sorry. Ray shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed that he was witnessing this. Good first day back to work, though, Ray said, trying to make it all better. Maybe you should call it a day, go check on the baby, and make that estate call in the morning time. Ill box this stuff up and mark it so Lily wont sell or trade it.Okay, Charlie said. But dont throw it out, either. Im going to figure this out.You betcha, boss. See you in the morning.Yeah, thanks, Ray. You can go home when you finish.Charlie went back to his apartment, checking his hands the whole way to see if any of the red glow from the pile of objects had rub skinnish off on them, but they seemed normal. He sent Jane home, fed and bathed Sophie, and read her to sleep with a few pages from Slaughterhouse-Five, then went to bed early and slept fitfully. He awoke the next morning in a haze, then sat bolt upright in bed, eyes wide and heart pounding when he saw the note sitting on the nightstand. Another one. Then he sight that this time it wasnt his handwriting, and the number was obviously a phone number, and he sighed. It was the estate involvement that Ray had made for him. Hed put it on the nightstand so he wouldnt forget. Mr. Michael Mainheart, it read then upscale womens clothing and furs, with a double underline. The phone number had a local exchange. He picked up the note, and under it was a minute piece of notepaper, this one with the same name, written in his own handwriting, and under it, the numeral 5. He didnt remember writing any of it. At that blink of an eye, something deep and dark passed by the second-story bedroom window, but by the time he looked up, it was gone.A blanket of fog lay over the Bay and from Pacific Heights the great orange towers of the Golden Gate Bridge jutted through the fog bank like carrots from the faces of sleeping conjoined twin snowmen. In the Heights, the morning sun had already pioneered the sky and workmen were scurrying about, care yards and gardens around the mansions.When he arrived at the home of Michael Mainheart the first thing Charlie noticed was that no one noticed him. There were two guys working in the yard, to whom Charlie waved as he passed, but they did not wave back. Then the attack aircraft carrier, who was coming off the big porch, drove him off the walkway into the dewy patronize without so much as an excuse me.Excuse me Charlie said, sarcastically, but the mailman was wearing headphones and listening to something that was inspiring him to bob his head like a pigeon feeding on amphetamines, and he bopped on. Charlie was going to shout something devastatingly clev er, then thought better of it, for although it had been some years since hed heard of a postal employee perpetrating a massacre, as long as the term going postal referred to anything anyways choosing a shipping carrier, he felt he shouldnt press his luck.Called a wack job by a complete stranger one day and shouldered off the sidewalk by a civil retainer the next this city was becoming a jungle.Charlie rang the bell and waited to the side of the twelve-foot leaded- scrap door. A minute later he heard light, shuffling steps approaching and a diminutive silhouette moved behind the glass. The door swung open slowly.Mr. Asher, said Michael Mainheart. Thank you for coming. The old man was swimming in a houndstooth suit that he must have bought thirty years ago when he was a more robust fellow. When he shook Charlies hand his skin felt like an old wonton wrapper, cool and a little powdery. Charlie tried not to shudder as the old man led him into a grand marble rotunda, with leaded-glass w indows running to a vaulted, forty-foot hood and a circular staircase that swept up to a come that led off to the upper wings of the house. Charlie had often wondered what it was like to have a house with wings. How would you ever find your car keys?Come this way, Mainheart said. Ill show you where my wife unplowed her clothes.Im sorry about your loss, Charlie said automatically. Hed been on piles of estate calls. You dont want to come off as some kind of vulture, his father used to say. Always compliment the merchandise it might be a piece of crap to you, but they might have a lot of their soul poured into it. Compliment but never covet. You can make a profit and preserve everyones dignity in the process.Holy shit, Charlie said as he followed the old man into a walk-in cupboard the size of his own apartment. I mean your wife had exquisite taste, Mr. Mainheart.There was row upon row of designer couture clothing, everything from evening gowns to racks, two tiers high, of knit su its, coherent by color and level of formality an opulent rainbow of silk and linen and wool. Cashmere sweaters, coats, capes, jackets, skirts, blouses, lingerie. The mechanical press was shaped like a T, with a large vanity and mirror at the apex, and accessories on each wing (even the closet with wings), dress on one side, belts, scarves, and handbags on the other. A whole wing of shoes, Italian and French, handmade, from the skins of animals who had led happy, blemish-free lives. Full-length mirrors flanked the vanity at the end of the closet and Charlie caught the grammatical construction of himself and Michael Mainheart in the mirror, he in his secondhand gray pinstripe and Mainheart in his ill-fitting houndstooth, studies in gray and black, stark and lifeless-looking in this vibrant garden.The old man went to the contain at the vanity and sat down with a creak and a wheeze. I expect it will take you some time to task it, he said.Charlie stood in the middle of the closet and looked around for a second before replying. It depends, Mr. Mainheart, on what you want to part with.All of it. Every stitch. I cant stand the feel of her in here. His voice broke. I want it gone. He looked away from Charlie at the shoe wing, trying not to show that he was tearing up.I understand, Charlie said, not sure what to say. This collection was completely out of his league.No, you dont understand, young man. You couldnt understand. Emily was my life. I got up in the morning for her, I went to work for her, I built a business for her. I couldnt wait to get home at night to tell her about my day. I went to bed with her and I dreamed about her when I slept. She was my passion, my wife, my best friend, the love of my life. And one day, without warning, she was gone and my life is a void. You couldnt possibly understand.But Charlie did. Do you have any children, Mr. Mainheart?Two sons. They came back for the funeral, then they went home to their own families. They offer to do whatever they can, butThey cant, Charlie finished for him. No one can. flat the old man looked up at him, his face as sorrowing(a) and barren as a mummified basset hound. I just want to die.Dont say that, Charlie said, because thats what you say. That feeling will pass. Which he said because everyone had been saying it to him. As far as he knew, he was just slinging turd clich??s.She was Mainhearts voice caught on the edge of a sob. A strong man, at once overcome by his grief and embarrassed that he was showing it.I know, Charlie said, speak uping about how Rachel still occupied that place in his heart, and when he turned in the kitchen to say something to her, and she wasnt there, it took his breath.She was I know, Charlie interrupted, trying to give the old man a pass, because he knew what Mainheart was feeling. She was meaning and order and light, and now that shes gone, chaos falls like a dark leaden cloud.She was so phenomenally stupid.What? Charlie looked up so quickly he heard a vertebra pop in his neck. Hadnt seen that coming.The dumb broad ate silica gel, Mainheart said, bother as well as agonized.What? Charlie was shaking his head, as if trying to rattling something loose.Silica gel.What?Silica gel Silica gel Silica gel, you imbecileCharlie felt as if he should shout the name of some arcane stuff back at him Well, symethicone Symethicone Symethicone, you butt-nugget Instead he said, The stuff humbug breasts are made of? She ate that? The image of a well-dressed older woman macking on a goopish spoonful of artificial boob spooge was running crosswise the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare.Mainheart pushed himself to his feet on the vanity. No, the little take onets of stuff they pack in with electronic equipment and cameras.The Do Not Eat stuff?Exactly.But it says right on the packet she ate that?Yes. The furrier put packets of it in with her furs when he installed that cabinet. Mainheart pointed.Charlie turned, and behind th e large closet door where they had entered was a lighted glass cabinet inside hung a dozen or so fur coats. The cabinet probably had its own air-conditioning unit to control the humidity, but that wasnt what Charlie was noticing. unconstipated under the recessed fluorescent light inside the cabinet, one of the coats was clearly glowing red and pulsating. He turned back to Mainheart slowly, trying not to overreact, not sure, in fact, what would constitute an overreaction in this case, so he tried to sound calm, but not willing to take any shit.Mr. Mainheart, I appreciate your loss, but is there something more going on here than youve told me?Im sorry, I dont understand what you mean.I mean, Charlie said, why, of all the used-clothing dealers in the Bay Area, did you decide to call me? There are people who are much more qualified to deal with a collection of this size and graphic symbol. Charlie stormed over to the fur cabinet and pulled open the door. It made a floof-tha sound tha t the seal on a refrigerator door makes when opened. He grabbed the glowing jacket fuddle fur, it appeared to be. Or was it this? Did the call have something to do with this? Charlie brandished the jacket like he was holding a murder weapon before the accused. In short, he thought about adding, are you shag with me?You were the first used-clothing dealer in the phone book.Charlie let the jacket drop. Ashers Secondhand?Starts with an A, Mainheart said, slowly, carefully obviously resisting the compact to call Charlie an idiot again.So it has nothing to do with this jacket?Well, it has something to do with that jacket. Id like you to take it away with all the rest of it.Oh, Charlie said, trying to recover. Mr. Mainheart, I appreciate the call, and this is certainly a beautiful collection, amazing, really, but Im not fitted out(p) to take on this kind of inventory. And Ill be honest with you, even though my father would be spinning in his grave for telling you this, there is proba bly a million dollars worth of clothes in this closet. Maybe more. And given the time and space to resell it, its probably worth a quarter of that. I just dont have that kind of money.We can work something out, Mainheart said. Just to get it out of the house I could take some of it on consignment, I suppose Five hundred dollars.What?Give me five hundred dollars and get it out of here by tomorrow and its yours.Charlie started to object, but he could feel what felt like the ghost of his father rebellion up to bonk him on the head with a spittoon if he didnt stop himself. We provide a valuable service, son. We are like an orphanhood to art and artifact, because we are willing to handle the unwanted, we give them value.I couldnt do that, Mr. Mainheart, I feel as if Id be taking advantage of your grief.Oh for Christs sake, you fucking loser, you are no son of mine. I have no son. Was that the ghost of Charlies father, rattling chains in his head? Why, then, did it have the voice and phraseology of Lily? Can a conscience be greedy?You would be doing me a favor, Mr. Asher. A huge favor. If you dont take it, my next call is to the Goodwill. I promised Emily that if something ever happened to her that I wouldnt just give her things away. Please.And there was so much throe in the old mans voice that Charlie had to look away. Charlie felt for the old man because he did understand. He couldnt do anything to help, couldnt say, It will get better, like everyone kept saying to him. It wasnt getting better. Different, but not better. And this fellow had fifty more years in which to pack his hopes, or in his case, his history.Let me think about it. Check into storage. If I can handle it, Ill call you tomorrow, would that be all right?Id be grateful, Mainheart said.Then, for no reason that he could think of, Charlie said, May I take this jacket with me? As an example of the quality of the collection, in case I have to divide it among other dealers.That would be fine. Let me show you out.As they passed into the rotunda, a shadow passed crossways the leaded-glass windows, three stories up. A large shadow. Charlie paused on the steps and waited for the old man to react, but he just tottered on down the staircase, leaning heavily on the railing as he went. When Mainheart reached the door he turned to Charlie, extending his hand. Im sorry about that, uh, outburst upstairs. I havent been myself since As the old man began to open the door a figure dropped outside, casting the silhouette of a fowl as tall as a man through the glass.No Charlie dove forward, knocking the old man aside and slamming the door on the great birds head, the heavy black beak stabbing through and snapping like hedge clippers, rattling an umbrella stand and scattering its contents across the marble floor. Charlies face was only inches from the birds eye, and he shoved the door with his shoulder, trying to keep the beak from snapping off one of his hands. The birds claws raked agai nst the glass, cracking one of the thick beveled panels as the animal thrashed to free itself.Charlie threw his hip against the doorjamb then slid down it, dropped the crucify jacket, and snatched one of the umbrellas from the floor. He stabbed up into the birds neck feathers, but lost his get on the doorjamb one of the black talons snaked through the opening and raked across his forearm, cutting through his jacket, his shirtsleeve, and into the flesh. Charlie shoved the umbrella with all he had, driving the birds head back through the opening.The raven let out a squeak and took flight, its wings making a great whooshing noise as it went. Charlie lay on his back, out of breath, staring at the leaded-glass panels, as if any moment the shadow of the giant raven would come back, then he looked to Michael Mainheart, who lay crumpled on his side like a stringless marionette. Beside his head lay a cane with an ivory handle that had been carved into the shape of a polar bear that had f allen from the umbrella stand. The cane was glowing red. The old man was not breathing.Well thats fucked up, Charlie said.